therealdeepsix

ohcaptainmycaptain1918:

is it permanent?

No but hold on. I know this moment tended to get laughs because of the nature of the dialogue and the timing, etc. but can we stop and think for one second that perhaps this might’ve actually been fucking with Bucky’s head in that moment? 

Remember the look on Bucky’s face when he first registered that it was Steve standing over him? It was a faraway stare and a disbelieving smile; Bucky looked more like he was seeing some sort of angel than his friend who’d come to rescue him. In that moment, Bucky probably equated the two to be one in the same, namely because he still didn’t fully believe that Steve was actually there to save him. Bucky had been getting experimented on and tortured - how many times do you think that he hallucinated and saw things (of which, Steve was probably one of them) while strapped to that slab? How many times do you think he dreamed of getting rescued, or imagined seeing things along those same lines, only to quickly remember where he was and that there was no hope of him leaving the Hell he was now living in. 

So then Steve really does show up, and all Bucky sees of him is his face at first. Yeah, maybe it’s filled out a bit more but Steve’s face is still mostly the same. When Bucky smiles and says, “S-Steve…” he most likely isn’t even aware that it’s actually Steve standing there - that it’s actually real life. It’s just another hallucination, it’s not real… But then Steve unstraps him and helps him up, and is this real? This feels real… But it can’t be… I’m going to die here…

Except now he’s standing, getting the first proper footing he’s probably had in days (maybe weeks), and now he’s looking to Steve properly for the first time and he has to look up. Steve’s broad and tall and this isn’t the kid he left back in Brooklyn, what is going on…

But he looks like Steve and he sounds like Steve, and he’s touching and talking to Bucky as though he were Steve, and he’s saying something about thinking that Bucky was dead? Maybe he is dead… because this isn’t the Steve Rogers I left, he didn’t look like this, how is this even possible…

"I thought you were smaller."

And you can’t help but wonder if that wasn’t just a well-timed quip in retaliation to Steve’s comment - and it’s certainly far more serious than just a simple, funny observation. “Oh, haha, golly Steve, you weren’t this size the last time I saw you - I thought you were smaller." It’s an actual admission that’s Bucky taking into question everything he thought he knew and once again no longer being sure of what’s real and what isn’t. Because when he’d first seen Steve’s face, he’d thought it’d been a figment of his mind. But then when he was helped to his feet, the fog in his head cleared just a bit, and it seemed like maybe it could be plausible - somehow Steve’s here and he’s getting me out of here, I’m not going to die…

Only to take one look at him and no, this isn’t right; this isn’t what I remember. And Bucky’s right back to square one - unable to tell fact from fiction and no longer positive anymore as to whether this is really happening. And that makes the look in his eyes when he meets Steve’s face again even more painful, because it’s that exact same faraway look he gave him when he first uttered his name with that vacant smile…

Like Steve is here, but Bucky can’t trust it to be true.

therealdeepsix

verysharpteeth:

dylanmoans:

W i p e him. Start over.

What kills me is up to that last gif he hasn’t been making eye contact. He’s been lost in his own confusion and memories and even his lashing out is not from a desire to hurt everyone, but from flashbacks. He’s treated like a thing and he acts like a thing. Even his not answering how Pierce wants isn’t defiant, it’s like a broken record. He’s completely submissive to everyone in that room, disturbingly so. The scene was him being completely vulnerable (he has weapons pulled on him, he’s half dressed surrounded by men in SWAT gear, he looks like a chastened child).

But the last gif he makes eye contact. Because this question is so important to him. Seventy years of being a THING and there’s this glimmer of SOMETHING. There’s a name. There’s a person. There’s a chance he’s not just some weapon to be used and abused as needed. They talk around him, they ignore him, they abuse him…but this is important enough for him to pursue. So he makes eye contact. Like a HUMAN. That eye contact. That look of “I KNOW I know this…and I know you’re gonna take it from me…I know you’re going to hurt me for knowing this…but I KNOW it no matter what you say”. That second gif is regret that he can’t let go of this rabbit trail, but that third one…that third one says “I know you’re lying to me and I know that doesn’t matter because I’m too broken to fight back, but I know I’m right”.

No wonder Pierce doesn’t even bother to demand anything but wiping him after that look. His weapon just looked at him like a human.

karaii

tapdatassbutt:

okay so i woke up this morning and i couldn’t stop thinking about like a skinny!steve/wintersoldier!bucky fantasy au

where bucky is like the god of seasons and he’s all winter soldiery and the earth is always cold and he just gets lonelier and lonelier and so he goes to a forest spirit and asks for a companion and the forest spirit agrees to give him one but it is also using this opportunity to make bucky see what kind of harm the winter brings to the earth and for him to suffer

so the spirit makes steve’s bones from the branches of a willow tree and takes his hair from wheat and his eyes from forget-me-nots and so on and so forth and then trades a bit of steve’s heart for a bit of bucky’s and so when steve awakens for the first time there is warmth and the weather changes to spring because the piece of steve’s heart is warming bucky up

and they become fast friends and little steve teaches bucky how to smile and laugh and as he becomes more like pre-war!bucky the season changes to summer

and of course he and steve run naked in the fields and dance and yell in the rain and steve braids buck’s hair and they fall head over heels for each other and spend the sweltering days kissing and lazily making love in the grass under shady oak trees

and all the while bucky doesn’t have a clue that he is being punished but then one day steve starts to cough and then he can’t breathe and just as the piece of steve’s heart warmed bucky the piece of bucky’s heart has made steve ill and even more frail and bucky worries constantly and with the worry and sadness comes fall and then the winter

soon enough the spring is back and steve is fine but once again by the end of summer he is sick and as the years pass his illness grows worse and worse until one day bucky goes alone to visit the forest spirit

he tells the spirit that his lover is weak and sick and he asks for steve’s well-being but the spirit tells him that he must make a trade for this to be possible

bucky tells the spirit that he is willing to give anything

the spirit tells him that he will offer endless strength and health to steve in exchange for bucky’s arm and his memories of his love for steve

bucky is ready to give his arm but is horrified at the thought of forgetting so he immediately refuses and returns home

but upon arrival steve is worse and so with much thought he gives steve one last kiss, whispers his love to him, and returns to the forest spirit to accept the offer

the spirit takes his arm and replaces it with cold harsh silver and then takes his memories

bucky wakes up shivering and alone

steve wakes up tall and strong and perfect and he waits for bucky but when he doesn’t come home he searches for bucky in the endless winter

when he finally finds him bucky is startled and doesn’t remember steve

but he remembers those forget-me-not eyes

therealdeepsix

wintercyan:

etharei:

buckysexual:

rocks0cks:

JUST NOTICED LAST NIGHT THAT BUCKY WAS ALSO ON A DRIP IN THE ENTIRE CHAIR SCENE

I know it’s a fucked up scene, I do, but that to me just is nOPE. What the fuck are they putting into his system on top of the mind wiping and the physical abuse and the conditioning. 

wait, what?

image

THE TUBE ON THE BACK OF HIS RIGHT HAND, IS THAT A DRIP?

Dr. Cyan calling in here, and yes, that is absolutely a peripheral IV cannula on his right hand. Watching the scene carefully you can see the IV stand on his right, with two infusion bags attached (sorry for the crappy images, maybe someone can grab a better screenshot if they have the DVD):

image

image

If you watch frame by frame, you can see that Bucky pops the connection tube off when he attacks the med tech; it dangles freely from the IV bag when the guards move to point their guns at him. In real life he’d probably have torn the cannula out of his hand entirely; it happens all the time with little old ladies in my ER so I was disappointed the directors didn’t draw on that particular body horror/’ouch’-factor here.

The infusion bags appear to be one 1,000 mL isotonic saline or D5W/D5NS (dextrose/glucose in a saline solution) for tissue rehydration, and one 500 mL isotonic saline, most likely a diluent for injectable/parenteral drug administration:

image

Which drug? Well, it could be any HYDRA concoction, but I’d put my money on the tried-and-true fallback of some benzodiazepine. BZDs/derivatives are anxiolytic (anxiety-reducing), hypnotic (sedative/sleep-inducing), anticonvulsant (good for when you’re electrocuting someone’s brain), amnestic (affecting memory), and myorelaxant (muscle-relaxing), a nice cocktail for working with the Winter Soldier - and hey! paradoxical BZD reactions include aggression and violence (such as attacking attending medical staff), and it may also cause anterograde amnesia as well as internalised feelings of turmoil, anxiety, depression, and loss of the ability to experience and/or express feelings. Plus, withdrawal can cause depression, depersonalisation, derealisation, hypersensitivity, psychosis, and suicidal ideation - sounds like a lot of Bucky-in-from-the-cold fanfics, am I right?

Seriously, writing this, I’m wondering where the withdrawal!Bucky fanfics are - the fics I’ve read all focus on his mental issues, but what about the physiological ones? I’d really like to read a fic about Bucky coming off whatever HYDRA pumped him full of - now that’d make for some neat hurt/comfort (and a lot of curling up on Steve’s bathroom floor shaking and puking his guts out).

(When I get my hands on a HD copy of the movie I’ll have a look at the rest of the medical setup in that scene. I’m especially interested in the screens behind the chair - maybe some more medical meta to be explored? Please send any screenshots my way if you have them!)

therealdeepsix
stuckinabucket:


I keep seeing a lot of justifications for the “Peter Quill forgot he had a passenger” thing that boil down to “No, it’s a totally cool way to illustrate that the character’s an asshole!  You know, for character development!” and it’s just like…not really, people.
I mean, yes, that is a way that you can demonstrate a character is a total asshole.  (There are also other ways to demonstrate that same thing that doesn’t come off as an “lol fuck you” directed squarely at half your audience, but that’s a different argument.)  But the problem with that is that otherwise he doesn’t come off as the sort of asshole who’d do that sort of assholish thing.  He’s immature and dysfunctional and venal, yes.  But the first time we get any sort of character scene for him, he’s got a black eye from getting into a righteous-anger fight over a dead frog.  He’s surrounded by what appears to be a loving family in the throes of grief, from whom he’s summarily kidnapped by what turns out to be a gang of space-pirates.
He spends the rest of the film coming off like the sort of person who’s had to play The Functional One for the crew of the HMS Warp Factor Clusterfuck for over half his life.  I don’t know if the repeated comments about eating him were meant to be taken absolutely at face value—there’s an argument to be made for reading them as some seriously fucked-up emotional blackmail rather than a genuine threat—but the dialogue about Yondu killing him if he gets out of line clearly isn’t a joke.  Whatever affection or use the pirates have for him, it’s explicitly not enough to keep him safe from them.  It’s not exactly an accident that the first instinct we see him showing almost every time there’s trouble is to try to smooth things over.
Rocket starts planning the escape from prison, and what happens? Groot straight-up rips something out of the fucking wall right in front of the guards.  Drax engages in some good old ultraviolence.  Gamora comes back with a device that was hardwired into somebody’s nervous system without batting an eye.  Peter…pays a guy a (judging by other sums mentioned) sizable chunk of money in exchange for the thing he needs.  Attempting to beat the dude up and take his stuff never even seems to occur to him.
He tries to talk everybody down when the other inmates are planning to murder Gamora.  He tries to talk everybody down when Rocket and Drax start fighting.  He’s the one who calls the Nova Corps to warn them instead of just showing up with what looks like an invasion fleet.  When Rocket pulls the “I need your prosthetic” thing again, Peter jumps in the middle and shuts it down like he’s apologizing for his racist grandma. 
He comes off like a guy who’s had to invest way too much energy, for way too long, into figuring out how everyone can go home happy and nobody needs to die today.  Like, how many times has he seen some variation on the psychic arrow vs. Kree soldiers scene play out with Yondu because he couldn’t defuse a situation?
Peter Quill isn’t supposed to be a huge asshole. (That would be Rocket, for those of you playing along at home.)  He’s supposed to be a fuck-up who’s figuring out that there can be more to his life than chasing the next thrill, pathologically flouting authority, and dodging his abusive foster-family.

stuckinabucket:

I keep seeing a lot of justifications for the “Peter Quill forgot he had a passenger” thing that boil down to “No, it’s a totally cool way to illustrate that the character’s an asshole!  You know, for character development!” and it’s just like…not really, people.

I mean, yes, that is a way that you can demonstrate a character is a total asshole.  (There are also other ways to demonstrate that same thing that doesn’t come off as an “lol fuck you” directed squarely at half your audience, but that’s a different argument.)  But the problem with that is that otherwise he doesn’t come off as the sort of asshole who’d do that sort of assholish thing.  He’s immature and dysfunctional and venal, yes.  But the first time we get any sort of character scene for him, he’s got a black eye from getting into a righteous-anger fight over a dead frog.  He’s surrounded by what appears to be a loving family in the throes of grief, from whom he’s summarily kidnapped by what turns out to be a gang of space-pirates.

He spends the rest of the film coming off like the sort of person who’s had to play The Functional One for the crew of the HMS Warp Factor Clusterfuck for over half his life.  I don’t know if the repeated comments about eating him were meant to be taken absolutely at face value—there’s an argument to be made for reading them as some seriously fucked-up emotional blackmail rather than a genuine threat—but the dialogue about Yondu killing him if he gets out of line clearly isn’t a joke.  Whatever affection or use the pirates have for him, it’s explicitly not enough to keep him safe from them.  It’s not exactly an accident that the first instinct we see him showing almost every time there’s trouble is to try to smooth things over.

Rocket starts planning the escape from prison, and what happens? Groot straight-up rips something out of the fucking wall right in front of the guards.  Drax engages in some good old ultraviolence.  Gamora comes back with a device that was hardwired into somebody’s nervous system without batting an eye.  Peter…pays a guy a (judging by other sums mentioned) sizable chunk of money in exchange for the thing he needs.  Attempting to beat the dude up and take his stuff never even seems to occur to him.

He tries to talk everybody down when the other inmates are planning to murder Gamora.  He tries to talk everybody down when Rocket and Drax start fighting.  He’s the one who calls the Nova Corps to warn them instead of just showing up with what looks like an invasion fleet.  When Rocket pulls the “I need your prosthetic” thing again, Peter jumps in the middle and shuts it down like he’s apologizing for his racist grandma. 

He comes off like a guy who’s had to invest way too much energy, for way too long, into figuring out how everyone can go home happy and nobody needs to die today.  Like, how many times has he seen some variation on the psychic arrow vs. Kree soldiers scene play out with Yondu because he couldn’t defuse a situation?

Peter Quill isn’t supposed to be a huge asshole. (That would be Rocket, for those of you playing along at home.)  He’s supposed to be a fuck-up who’s figuring out that there can be more to his life than chasing the next thrill, pathologically flouting authority, and dodging his abusive foster-family.

historicallyaccuratesteve

ligayaharukadiwata:

ellidfics:

tisfan:

everyworldneedslove:

darthstitch:

markoruffalo:

What’s interesting about good and moral people is that they actually have to try and function in a word that isn’t. And the older you get, the more interesting that becomes. Because it’s also the hardest thing to do in the world. (x) (x)

#yes #yes this so very much #it’s easy to be an asshole in a world full of assholes #especially when you have/had a shit life and have/had some nasty shit happened to you #but to still be kind #not to waver #to stay who you are #is a very hard thing to do #it’s easy to love #and it’s easy to hate #but it takes strength to be gentle and kind #and this is why every single superhero in the marvel universe looks up to steve #clint said it himself #steve brings out the best out of people #when you’re around steve you want to do what’s right because of the sheer power of steve’s goodness #oh god  #steve i love you so much it actually pains me please send help

And this is why I love Steve Rogers and I refuse to buy into this crap that “writing Good Guys is boring” and “let’s grim him up a bit, make him more into Grim Brooding Dark Superhero Name Here, that’ll be interesting.” 

Writing Good Guys is never boring. 

The ridiculous thing about Steve Rogers is that he is everything that is brave, earnest and true.  And no, he’s not perfect, he’s not a saint, he’s sassy and snarky and occasionally trips face first into the Land of Adorkable. (All right, maybe not occasionally.  Maybe all the flippin’ time.)  But good is awesome.  Good rocks.  Good doesn’t mean soft and weak and boring.  

Doing the Right Thing is hard and it hurts like a sumbitch at times and you’ll get crap thrown at you every which way but Steve Rogers keeps going and somehow manages to stay kind and still be this sweetheart, despite everything else that would’ve broken other people long ago.  

Somehow you read about Steve being playful and pretending that he doesn’t understand modern technology but is probably the biggest techie geek there is.  You read about Steve saving puppies and kittens and telling a wide-eyed six year old girl that she can be Captain America when she grows up if she wants to be.  You read about Steve charming little old ladies and respecting the hell out of women in general and you can bet your ass he’s not some chauvinistic asshole with entitlement issues.  You read about skinny Steve and you realize Captain America’s always been in him, even when he didn’t have the strength to match that superhero heart of his.  You read about Steve trolling the hell out of his teammates and Tony goes “SON OF A BITCH WHO KNEW?!” and Clint cackles over and over because this is rich, this is awesome, Captain America’s a little trolling shit and PHIL DID YOU SEE THAT?

And Bucky would’ve told him, Steve’s always been a punk, didn’t you fellas know that?

And the Howling Commandos would’ve had some stories about their crazy C.O. and the shenanigans he came up with and that Steve ran a mixed-race unit with a couple of soldiers from not even in the US ARMY and took no guff from anyone who complained about that

And Natasha doesn’t ever get disappointed in this good man, when she’s been disappointed by so many so called “good men” and she starts to believe.

And that’s the Steve Rogers story I’ll never get tired of reading.  Or writing. 

Fuck boring.  Steve Rogers will never be boring.  He’s my hero too. 

Did I reblog this already? I don’t care because IT GOT BETTER.

“Imaginary evil is romantic and varied; real evil is gloomy, monotonous, barren, boring. Imaginary good is boring; real good is always new, marvelous, intoxicating.”

― Simone Weil

Even better?  It’s not just MCU Steve that’s like this.  I’m reading some of the late 70’s/early 80’s issues right now, and what do we see but a Steve Rogers who spends two or three issues fighting a blockbuster who’s trying to burn Steve’s neighbors out of their homes so his employer can put up a shopping center - and the neighbors are a black special ed teacher, a Jewish glassblower, a white guy with a college degree who’s a firefighter because it’s the right thing to do, and a little old lady who’s a Holocaust survivor who was saved by Captain America in ‘45 (and doesn’t know who he is because he kept his mask on).  Later in the run he reestablishes contact with a childhood friend who’s gay and living with his boyfriend, and not only does Steve not recoil in horror, he defends their love as every bit as valid and worthy of respect as his relationship with his girlfriend. 

And the issues aren’t boring, and Steve isn’t a self-righteous goody-goody.  He blows his deadlines at work (he’s a freelance artist), he makes a fool of himself a couple of time romancing the pretty glassblower, he makes mistakes, he’s guilt-stricken because he let Bucky AND a poor guy named Roscoe who tried to sub for him as Cap die, and he makes mistakes.  It’s sweet and funny and yes, it’s clearly for kids and younger teens, but you know what?  These issues are well written and drawn, and as dated as they are in some ways, they’re so much more enjoyable than the grim, bitter wreck we see in the current comics, or the neocon jerkwad from Ults. 

Maybe, just maybe, the comics industry needs to remember to let their good guys be good for a change. 

This, so much! EXACTLY THIS!

krusca
brandnewfashion:


hermeliin:

loving-that-officey-feel:

copperbadge:

[From Captain America #15, 2003.]

But seriously though, this is always something I’ve thought about a lot in relation to Steve. Because Steve is super-committed when it comes to almost EVERYTHING. Justice, freedom, equality, civil rights, doing the Right Thing, trying to be the best person he can be, trying to see the good in all people, to being Captain America, and an Avenger, and leading by example. Steve generally doesn’t do anything by half-measures. When he’s in, he’s ALL IN.
Except when it comes to romantic relationships, which he has an oddly casual go-with-the-flow approach to. Which has always struck me as odd considering the rest of Steve’s personality. But he keeps having all these on-and-off relationships where he’s together with whoever for a couple weeks/months and then for whatever reason they amicably part ways, and he’s not overly bothered by it other than perhaps a bit of melancholy. He’s got a very ‘oh well, maybe next time will work?’ attitude and doesn’t fight tooth and nail to try to keep relationships together like he does with, well, everything else in his life.
Instead Steve is like ‘ok, if we’re not working, we’re not working. It was nice being together. Good luck on whatever you choose to do after this, I wish you all the best.’ (Which, don’t get me wrong, it is great that Steve can be on good terms with basically every ex he’s ever had). And that his rationale for dating some of the people he’s date who haven’t been long-term love interests, (like Sharon or Bernie,) seems to boil down to ‘they seem like a nice person, maybe I will give this a go again’. Which is a pretty wishy-washy reason for dating someone, IMO. ‘You are a non-objectionable, caring person, (who is hopefully not a super-villain,) ok, we can give this a go’. Really?
Like where is the spark and the passion? (I will give Bernie credit here, because I could really feel the love when they were together, but even other long-term love interests like Sharon and Rachel seem like just something that is convenient for both them and Steve at the time, as opposed to something that either of them are really committed to actually making last). 
And from all of this I’ve always kind of gotten the feeling that Steve dates most of the people he dates based on what he THINKS he should want as opposed to what he ACTUALLY wants. So he has this ideal image of the kind of person he should fall in love with…which is not necessarily the type of person that work well as his partner long-term. And that, because he can’t have that white-picket-fence dream that he has the image of in his mind, he isn’t going to have anything/get to be happy at all? Without really considering that he could have something different, and it may be just as good or better. Its one of the times where I see Steve’s tendency to get really set in his ways is just sabotaging himself.
Then combine this with the fact that Steve has this kind of casual disdain/self-hate for himself back when he was tiny and weak and sick, (any arc where Steve is de-serumed or something similar make this REALLY obvious,) and this goes into some really interesting territory. Because on one hand, Steve really wants, desperately, for people to see him as Steve, as just another guy, not Captain America: larger than life patriotic symbol and hero. But he also kind of dislikes who he was before the serum when he didn’t have the physical strength to fight for everything he believed like he does now, along with the isolation, the bullying, having doors slammed in his face, stuck with dreaming because he couldn’t be DOING. And so I think he actually kind of dismisses a lot of the ‘tiny Steve’ thoughts, (which to me ARE the wistful dreams, the doubts, the insecurities, and all the creativity,) in favour of the ‘big Steve’ thoughts, (which covers all his morals, beliefs, and convictions. the ‘big picture thoughts’ that are bigger than one man and have to be stood up for,) in his head. Because the ‘big Steve’ thoughts are so much more important, and the ‘tiny Steve’ thoughts…well, he was kind of pathetic back then. (The storyline in Avenging Spider-Man #5 is like the PERFECT example of this to me).  which leads to this disconnect between who Steve sees himself as and what he’s actually FEELING.  Because ‘big Steve’s views/desires and ‘tiny Steve’s views/desires do not overlap all the time.
So, I can’t help but think that it’s ‘big Steve’ that’s the half that makes all the relationship decisions, and then wonders when he just keeps drifting away from partners and nothing really lasts. Because I think ‘tiny Steve,’ not ‘big Steve,’ is actually the part of him that knows what would REALLY make him happy. But he hasn’t really been listening to ‘tiny Steve’ for a long time, in any situation where ‘big Steve’ and ‘tiny Steve’ actually disagree. So he just ends up feeling confused and not being able to figure out what it is that he’s really searching for.
And, well, it’s kind of hard to figure out what will make someone else really happy when you can’t figure out what makes YOU really happy.
I also think this is a not-small factor in Steve’s often STAGGERING tendency to be completely oblivious to the emotions/distress/love/stress that the people around him are going through until things just blow up.

Oh, god, thank you for this post. I have the similar thought, but I also draw the line bitween Steve Rogers and Captain America. Captain doesn’t act as he wants, he is acting as it should be, as others expect.
Like with Falcon:


He is passive in relationships with women - Bernie and Sharon have always made the first move. Hana didn’t -> nothing happened.
The only time (or one of the few), when Steve first kissed Sharon and decided to try them again, suprise Sharon a lot. 
Anyway, totally agree with post.
(sorry for my English)

I’m pretty sure I’ve reblogged this at some point, but I felt the need to do so again because of the new run of Captain America: 

Sharon blatantly points out that she had to ask him otherwise Steve probably never would. 

And this, this is what bothered me the most: not the fact that he’s thinking of saying “yes” to Sharon, but his whole attitude about marriage.  It really is strange that someone, like Steve, who is usually so proactive and committed isn’t that way when it comes to relationships.  If anything, those values are made most evident in relationships.  Personally, I don’t think much good can come from a marriage that he thinks “might not be so bad,” but I guess we’ll see. 

brandnewfashion:

hermeliin:

loving-that-officey-feel:

copperbadge:

[From Captain America #15, 2003.]

But seriously though, this is always something I’ve thought about a lot in relation to Steve. Because Steve is super-committed when it comes to almost EVERYTHING. Justice, freedom, equality, civil rights, doing the Right Thing, trying to be the best person he can be, trying to see the good in all people, to being Captain America, and an Avenger, and leading by example. Steve generally doesn’t do anything by half-measures. When he’s in, he’s ALL IN.

Except when it comes to romantic relationships, which he has an oddly casual go-with-the-flow approach to. Which has always struck me as odd considering the rest of Steve’s personality. But he keeps having all these on-and-off relationships where he’s together with whoever for a couple weeks/months and then for whatever reason they amicably part ways, and he’s not overly bothered by it other than perhaps a bit of melancholy. He’s got a very ‘oh well, maybe next time will work?’ attitude and doesn’t fight tooth and nail to try to keep relationships together like he does with, well, everything else in his life.

Instead Steve is like ‘ok, if we’re not working, we’re not working. It was nice being together. Good luck on whatever you choose to do after this, I wish you all the best.’ (Which, don’t get me wrong, it is great that Steve can be on good terms with basically every ex he’s ever had). And that his rationale for dating some of the people he’s date who haven’t been long-term love interests, (like Sharon or Bernie,) seems to boil down to ‘they seem like a nice person, maybe I will give this a go again’. Which is a pretty wishy-washy reason for dating someone, IMO. ‘You are a non-objectionable, caring person, (who is hopefully not a super-villain,) ok, we can give this a go’. Really?

Like where is the spark and the passion? (I will give Bernie credit here, because I could really feel the love when they were together, but even other long-term love interests like Sharon and Rachel seem like just something that is convenient for both them and Steve at the time, as opposed to something that either of them are really committed to actually making last). 

And from all of this I’ve always kind of gotten the feeling that Steve dates most of the people he dates based on what he THINKS he should want as opposed to what he ACTUALLY wants. So he has this ideal image of the kind of person he should fall in love with…which is not necessarily the type of person that work well as his partner long-term. And that, because he can’t have that white-picket-fence dream that he has the image of in his mind, he isn’t going to have anything/get to be happy at all? Without really considering that he could have something different, and it may be just as good or better. Its one of the times where I see Steve’s tendency to get really set in his ways is just sabotaging himself.

Then combine this with the fact that Steve has this kind of casual disdain/self-hate for himself back when he was tiny and weak and sick, (any arc where Steve is de-serumed or something similar make this REALLY obvious,) and this goes into some really interesting territory. Because on one hand, Steve really wants, desperately, for people to see him as Steve, as just another guy, not Captain America: larger than life patriotic symbol and hero. But he also kind of dislikes who he was before the serum when he didn’t have the physical strength to fight for everything he believed like he does now, along with the isolation, the bullying, having doors slammed in his face, stuck with dreaming because he couldn’t be DOING. And so I think he actually kind of dismisses a lot of the ‘tiny Steve’ thoughts, (which to me ARE the wistful dreams, the doubts, the insecurities, and all the creativity,) in favour of the ‘big Steve’ thoughts, (which covers all his morals, beliefs, and convictions. the ‘big picture thoughts’ that are bigger than one man and have to be stood up for,) in his head. Because the ‘big Steve’ thoughts are so much more important, and the ‘tiny Steve’ thoughts…well, he was kind of pathetic back then. (The storyline in Avenging Spider-Man #5 is like the PERFECT example of this to me).  which leads to this disconnect between who Steve sees himself as and what he’s actually FEELING.  Because ‘big Steve’s views/desires and ‘tiny Steve’s views/desires do not overlap all the time.

So, I can’t help but think that it’s ‘big Steve’ that’s the half that makes all the relationship decisions, and then wonders when he just keeps drifting away from partners and nothing really lasts. Because I think ‘tiny Steve,’ not ‘big Steve,’ is actually the part of him that knows what would REALLY make him happy. But he hasn’t really been listening to ‘tiny Steve’ for a long time, in any situation where ‘big Steve’ and ‘tiny Steve’ actually disagree. So he just ends up feeling confused and not being able to figure out what it is that he’s really searching for.

And, well, it’s kind of hard to figure out what will make someone else really happy when you can’t figure out what makes YOU really happy.

I also think this is a not-small factor in Steve’s often STAGGERING tendency to be completely oblivious to the emotions/distress/love/stress that the people around him are going through until things just blow up.

Oh, god, thank you for this post. I have the similar thought, but I also draw the line bitween Steve Rogers and Captain America. Captain doesn’t act as he wants, he is acting as it should be, as others expect.

Like with Falcon:

image

image

He is passive in relationships with women - Bernie and Sharon have always made the first move. Hana didn’t -> nothing happened.

The only time (or one of the few), when Steve first kissed Sharon and decided to try them again, suprise Sharon a lot. 

Anyway, totally agree with post.

(sorry for my English)

I’m pretty sure I’ve reblogged this at some point, but I felt the need to do so again because of the new run of Captain America: 

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Sharon blatantly points out that she had to ask him otherwise Steve probably never would. 

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And this, this is what bothered me the most: not the fact that he’s thinking of saying “yes” to Sharon, but his whole attitude about marriage.  It really is strange that someone, like Steve, who is usually so proactive and committed isn’t that way when it comes to relationships.  If anything, those values are made most evident in relationships.  Personally, I don’t think much good can come from a marriage that he thinks “might not be so bad,” but I guess we’ll see. 

spacefeels

potofsoup:

archeralli:

a weak and tortured bucky making sure steve gets to safety first

It’s because Bucky has a habit of letting Steve go first.

——-

1) Always let Steve go first up the stairs, so that you can keep an eye on him.  It’s easier to count Steve’s breaths and notice when Steve’s heart does that thing that makes him stop and shake.  Much easier to stop and pretend to tie your shoes while you wait, worried, than to realize 2 flights too late that Steve’s no longer with you. 

Later: Your limbs are sore and numb from being strapped to a table for 2 days and you’re pretty sure you haven’t eaten and the entire base might be exploding, but when Steve says “let’s go up,” you tell him to go first.

———-

2) Steve’s walk was mostly normal, though he swung his hips in a certain way to compensate for his scoliosis, and that put a special cadence to his stride that you unconsciously match. Even without Steve around you would twist your hip back before swinging your leg forward.  Twist, swing, twist, swing.

Later: Steve is leading the way through the forest, and you’re finally used to his height and broad shoulders and that dumb shield, but something still feels wrong.  Somehow your pace doesn’t quite match, and you can’t figure out why.

———-

3) Colors don’t work the same with Steve, so always describe unfamiliar objects by their shape and relative location, like that square window past the third door on the left, or the man wearing that unseasonably long coat standing in the corner by the garbage can.

Later: The boys are singing in the other room and you’re at the bar with Steve, trying very hard to get drunk because of course you’ll follow Steve into whatever but that doesn’t mean you have to do it sober.  “Steve,” you whisper, “Check out that lady by the door, next to that short thin guy who has his shirt open.”  Steve looks over.  “The one in the red dress?  That’s Miss Carter.”  You decide you need another drink.

———-

4) When walking down a narrow dark alleyway always stay on the right, because Steve’s bad ear makes the right side feel blind to him (though damn if Steve’d ever admit that).  On broad open streets, switch to Steve’s left side, so that Steve could hear you better through the noise.

Later: Dum-Dum gives you a weird look as you line up to charge into a Hydra base.  “Why won’t you take the left flank for a change?”  You start explaining Steve’s bad ear before you remember that he’s not that Steve any more, and that Captain America doesn’t have a bad ear.

———-

5) Stuff in your left pockets are for Steve: the asthma cigarettes that Steve could never afford, a dime for that popcorn that Steve likes, tickets for whatever shindig you’re trying to drag Steve along to. Sometimes you put things there for Steve and totally forget about it, like extra paper and a spare pencil in case Steve wants to doodle.  The left side always belongs to Steve.

Later: Steve is awfully quiet by the campfire.  You sit down by his good ear and reach into your left pocket.  “Hey,” you say, pulling out a news clipping about the war front that featured a lovely photo of Miss Carter.  “You read this yet?  They think Morita’s a Japanese defector, but the section on Dernier is priceless.”

———————-

Still later:

Report on the Winter Soldier reset procedures

After the latest test run, only the following anomalies remain:

A) The asset tends to hug the right walls and not the left, and hesitates for 30 microseconds before climbing stairs.  However, he does not hesitate when scaling walls or ladders.

B) When walking unopposed the asset has a characteristic and identifiable stride, which is dropped when he is making a covered approach.  

C) The asset communicates via relative locations, often omitting crucial color information.  However, he can be commanded to describe the colors of any object in impressive detail.

D) When dressing himself, the asset keeps his knives exclusively on his right side, and his left pockets are underutilized.  This may be an effect of continued unfamiliarity with the new left arm.

After extensive field testing, we have determined that these anomalies do not impede the asset from completing his missions, and declare the reset process complete.

—————————

[basically the textual partner to the colorblindness comic]

[The rest of my Captain America stuff]

linzeestyle

linzeestyle:

mishasminions:

FRIENDLY REMINDER THAT STEVE TRIED TO TRIGGER BUCKY’S MEMORIES BY WEARING HIS LESS DURABLE RETRO!UNIFORM (aka the not-so-bulletproof outfit he wore the last time Bucky saw him) AND BY QUOTING SOMETHING BUCKY SAID TO HIM 70-SOMETHING YEARS AGO

Okay okay but can we just talk about this?  The entire movie Steve’s worth is defined by what Captain America has become.  He goes to the Smithsonian to see Captain America’s life projected back at him — the boy he was before a footnote, the sickly waif who wasn’t good enough until the army (literally) made him A Man — while he’s there he walks around unrecognized; the entire gag at the mall is based on the idea that this is a 6’2” hulking muscled mass of a guy who absolutely no one recognizes unless he has that star on his chest, because it’s the suit, not the person, who’s been given worth.  And when Steve thinks about the most memorable thing about himself — when he thinks about how to get Bucky back — he goes for that.  He goes for Captain America.  And it doesn’t work; Bucky doesn’t react at all.  Because Bucky always saw through that.  He didn’t give a shit about Captain America.  That “little guy from Brooklyn,” that’s the kid he loved, that’s the one he was following when he died, the one who’s scared voice knocked the memories out of him earlier in the movie.  And it’s only when Steve drops the shield, and the helmet — all of the things that make him Captain America, that make him immediately recognizable to the rest of the country, to the world — when he calls on this one, rogue memory from when they were just kids, from before he was the national ideal of manhood he’s been made out to be since his death…  That’s when Bucky sees him.  Because Bucky doesn’t remember, or care about Captain America: Captain America is just a target.  But Steve Rogers, that little kid from Brooklyn?  Is under him, and dying, and scared…and the impulse to protect is so much stronger than anything else that’s been done to Bucky since then.

therealdeepsix

therealdeepsix:

steverogersorbust:

yo, but. steve staying on the helicarrier, dropping the shield, letting bucky beat him up—that isn’t him being suicidal, or giving up, or forecasting some grim future. that is steve at his best and most true: that is steve at his most loyal and determined and hopeful.

he is not going to leave that burning, crashing boat—not without bucky. when he says, “i’m with you till the end of the line,” he’s doing the same thing bucky did all those years again—he’s taking someone in from the cold and making him family. and you don’t leave family behind.

(steve did that once already, after bucky fell from the train that barrelled through an unforgiving winterscape, and he sure as hell won’t make that mistake again. this isn’t steve, resigning himself to some bitter fate. this is steve, learning from what he didn’t know then.)

look. even when steve had nothing, he had bucky. the day steve’s mom died, bucky put his hand on steve’s shoulder and told him that he wasn’t alone, that he still had people in this world. and fuck if bucky didn’t follow through on that promise. fuck if bucky wasn’t steve’s shadow, his rifle, the guy at his shoulder. fuck if bucky didn’t tell steve he’d follow him—the kid from brooklyn who was too dumb to run from fights—into the depths of hell. and fuck if he didn’t do just that. faced with that knowledge—how can steve want to repay bucky with anything less?

so yeah, maybe the tragedy and the loneliness and the ptsd has conspired to turn steve around a bit. make him lose his way, muddy up the waters, transform happiness into a question rather than something that lives within him.

but steve’s most abiding characteristic is his tenacity. he stands up—not just for himself, but for others. he doesn’t need something to fight…he needs something, and someone, to fight for. his purpose, even at his most aimless, is clear: keep going.

and seeing bucky, thinking there’s a chance he could get bucky back, remembering the wild chance he took the first time he disobeyed orders and jumped out of a fucking plane to save bucky, knowing that his body is capable of withstanding tremendous force, what else is steve gonna do?

he’s going to wait the damn thing out. and he’s going to bring bucky home.

CO-FUCKING-SIGNED